Feelings, Instincts, and Insecurities - Know elements of thy Mind
Dec 20 2019 , Written by Rakshit Soral
Quick summary: Feelings, Instincts, and Insecurities haunt us everyday in one form or another. But are they really something to be aware about? Let's know about them in this article.
We all know what it’s like to feel low. Maybe we made a big mistake at work or missed out on an opportunity, or someone said something that hurts — all these situations tend to make us feel small and insecure.
But are these feelings worth stressing on? In this article, let’s understand what are feelings, instincts, and securities, the three elements of the human mind that have a huge impact on our health and wellbeing.
Feelings - thoughts to respect
Growing up, I often believed that feelings are illegitimate, invalid, and trustworthy. I thought they are artifacts and unreal. As a result, I often find it difficult to express them which didn’t serve me very well. For instance, I often believed in pleasing others so if someone bullied me, I took it with a pinch of smile. To me, all this felt like a burden; a feeling that almost killed me from inside.
But being a people pleaser isn’t helpful.
Not much, I’ve learned with my experiences. To hell with life, It doesn’t serve any noble purpose. It’s an Achilles hill that obstructs us to have a valid stand or point of view. It makes harder for us to live life on our values, believes, and principles.
It might sound vague but I am trying to stress with this fact: we are all alone in this world. Yes, we might have people around us that care. But it ain’t their job to make us happy, to make us feel good. It’s our own job. Period.
Isn’t this fact trying to teach us something?
That we must respect and face our feelings, for they always are real. They can’t be facts but only a stimulating response to our situations, surroundings, wellbeing, and health. It’s okay to feel stressed because of that job, It’s okay to feel guilty on our doings, It’s okay to feel lonely when no one is there for us.
There are no wrong feelings, neither there are feelings that are right. It’s not necessary for a feeling to be the truth. Because at times, feelings can be a lie; a trap that may captivate our mind and soul.
That job which is making us feel lost isn’t worth to make a living; that action which is making us feel guilty isn’t always going to haunt us; that feeling of loneliness is only because we aren’t being true to ourselves or we aren’t embracing ourselves.
Knowing this fact, we all can be a spectator to our feelings, instead of being involved with them or letting them captivate our attention.
feelings aren't meaningless EXACTLY, but your body/mind generate feelings every second of every day, there's never a moment where some feeling isn't being manufactured, they aren't all meaningful— Amy “Ruins Social Media” Hoy (@amyhoy) February 22, 2019
Until we build our own beliefs, we are prone to remain confused, do things that other wants, and struggle to attain a sensible way of living.
Instincts - the signals to follow
Instincts, too, are real. Afterall, they are also a product of our feelings.
Until the last few days, I never trust my instincts. Whenever I deal with an issue, I tried to handle it in two ways: ask everyone or my mom/ sister for their advice on the matter, or search on the internet. Even worse, I mulled over or sat on fences for too long. I didn’t take any action.
Turns out, this made my life hell. So bad, that it broke my confidence.
Recently, however, I’ve been trying to follow my instincts. Yes, I still ask for guidance, but I think twice before implementing it. If my instinct says no, I won’t do it.
Sometimes, my instincts are trying to tell me something, and I note it and contemplate it until I reach a decision.
I know these instincts can be also wrong, for they too are heavily biased by recent events. But I have made it a point to listen to my gut. Whatever the consequences might be, I’ll leave them on the future.
It’ll take a while for me to embrace my feelings and listen to my gut. But, I believe I will be there. Who knows someday I might make a fortune following my instincts, lol. 😄
Insecurities - The truth to embrace
Insecurities, too are a part of what we feel and how we feel. In the world where Social media likes are more important than socializing, we all get burdened with insecurities more than the responsibilities. We worry if we’re looking good, we worry if we have done the work better than others, we worry if the opposite sex will like us or not, we worry that we’re not good enough, blah…blah..blah.
This very urge of getting approval based on likes and retweets, showing-off our luxuries, amazing food, and travel only exacerbates the problem.
So then, what we can do to overcome these insecurities?
The answer isn’t simple, but it requires courage. The courage to face the truth. The courage to face what we don’t want to face. The courage to do something about it.
Since my childhood, I have been insecure about my health. And this become worse when I encountered with several diseases. But this left me bamboozled with the truth. The truth that I don’t take care of my health.
For now, I have decided to take charge of my health and begin somewhere. I know there are no templates to health, no hard rules. Just descipline, effort, and hardwork in baby steps.
Deep within my heart, I know what needs to be done. It’ll take a while. I’d be honest with this.
But even it seems difficult, who am I to decide and not try.